is there such thing as a happy ever after ?
by i-love-you-forever-and-always
Summary: Bella Lopez has a hard life with her mami and Brittany married, twin step siblings and her dad ; Bella is emotionally and physically beaten ... will she be able to cope and get her happy ever after or do they not exist ; when she meets Rachel and Quinn's daughter Lucy she begins to question whether or not love does exist.
1. Chapter 1

**Bella p.o.v**

Married. My mami got married; I guess I should have known she was going to move on … but even though to break it over a coffee when I didn't even know she was dating , yep I was kind of pissed… but if Brittany makes my mami happy then that's all that matters.

My name is Bella Lopez and I'm 17 years old and my mami has now been married for 6 years – yep 6 whole years and I wish I could say I lived the perfect family life … but that would be a complete and utter lie.

Ever since my mami got married everything's changed , the softness in her eyes when she used to look at me is gone all I'm left with is the cold hard looks she gives me … I don't know when she started to dislike me but whatever I can get on with it I'm strong enough to be on my own.

"Dinner!" Leo shouted … Leo is my step brother; I also have a step sister called Lara (twins and they are my age too) and well they're defiantly the favourite children in the household.

I make my way down the newly done staircase and take my unfortunate seat at the pinewood dinner table. Mami, opposite Leo; Brittany opposite Lara … leaving me on the end singled out as per usual.

"So Leo, Lara how was your day?" Mami asks them in a sweet caring tone.

"Great I am now head cheerleader" Lara shares excitedly

"I'm the quarterback what could be better?" Leo declares with a grin on his face … no one ever speaks to me so once again I'm left to my own thoughts basically wondering what I did wrong to make them dislike me so much… Both the twins aren't much better , throwing slushies' on me at school; getting people to kick the crap out of me … calling me a dyke when their own parents are lesbians to. I came out 4 years ago I'm not ashamed to be gay so all the talks and the looks they don't affect me but my family (or supposed to be family) do -

"Bella are you listening ... I said clear the table these two have had a long day" My mami says sternly I don't miss the idiota she mutters under her breath as I clear the plates. I wonder if I'd have been a cheerio like she wanted that she would have been proud of me- but let's not think about that because I have never and will never be one of those.

Just before I can leave the kitchen Brittany comes up behind me

"your dad will be here in 20 minutes" she says softly ; you see she has never really done anything to me Brittany … it's my mami and step siblings that's horrible not her … but I suppose she never stops it , or never tried to make an effort with me.

I make my way back upstairs and start to pack … god I hate this it's like I'm packing for my death one of these days I'm sure that I won't come back.

My dad engulfs me in a giant hug when I come down the stairs… but it's all for show and has been for a very very long time maybe one day he'll realise … maybe one day he'll love me again.

"Hey sweetie lets go" He says with an undertone of coldness/fakery that only I can recognise I know how tonight's going to end … the same way it always does when I'm around him.

As I get in the car I get flashbacks of when it all started.

_Flashback to the night of the wedding_

"_listen darling … we can be a family again me you and mami all you have to do is help me ruin this wedding and get mami to think that Brittany cheated you can be my alibi; then daddy will be there for mami and we'll get back together again and be a family … what d'you say champ?" My dad asked eagerly._

"_Daddy I can't do that … Britty makes mami happy and I want her to be happy I love her" I replied thoughtfully_

"_But you don't want daddy to be happy!" He shouted._

"_Daddy you're scaring me" tears make their way down my innocent little face_

"_Maybe daddy should start to punish you for being naughty and not doing what he asks then!" He yells louder as he grabs me by the hair and starts punching me repeatedly in the ribs…_

I shake myself out of my drowning memory's that still haunt me … I was a young girl back then, but he had done it ever since. The man that used to be my anchor, my best friend had been stolen and I miss him so much … I miss my parents; I miss being part of a family.

Maybe if I shut of my feelings it will be better, who says I have to feel anything … everything I love I loose anyway one way or another so maybe If I just stopped caring this would all go away and the pain, the loss , the constant hurting and I would be safe.

As I pull my overnight bag out the back of the car watching my dad speed off to the closest bar I cherish the few hours I have left before I relive the pain …

Later on after I have been beaten black and blue I realise that the newly formed huge deep bruises are just a physical representation of how I feel on the inside; battered, bruised and broken.

Basically I Bella Lopez have been sent to a life of imprisonment whether it be here, at home or at school and all of these people are just prison guards keeping me in line and trapping me into every prison cell they can find ready for my punishments to begin.

**Hey guys just testing something out if you like it please review for me so I know whether to carry on ive had this in my head for a while and just wanted to try something new thanks and please R+R **


	2. Chapter 2

**A few months later Bella's p.o.v**

Well I wish I could say its gotten better but it hasn't. It's just the same usual routine of depression really. You wanna know what the stupid thing is I try so hard to make my mami proud but it's like I'll never be good enough for her. I'm pushing myself so hard to be good in school … I'm getting B's and a few A's but I'm studding and pushing myself that much I feel ill. But she doesn't notice how tired I am all the time and she doesn't notice how hard I try because she doesn't care.

I guess my one escape is music though … I love to sing and play my guitar; no one knows I sing, I don't think anyone will ever know either. It's the one thing I have left that I love which hasn't been taken from me, those few minutes where I can just let it all out they're the moments I long for … that's all I have to live for my love and life is lived through my music.

" Bella were having freinds over for dinner so please at least make an effort to get dressed up will you … we don't need them to think that it's us that have influenced you to be like this." My mami said as she peeped her head through the door … she didn't even give me a chance to reply before she had gone out the door and was laughing with Lara.

"What the fuck do I wear?" I muttered under my breath before practically tearing my closet to pieces.

After about an hour of blasting robin blurred lines (which I love by the way … my pimp song) I finally found something that I can wear ; a black bodycon skirt with a red shirt with gold buttons , simple but I do look good I'm not gonna lie… I would have sex with me in this.

"Bella they're gonna be here soon could you help me set the table please?" Brittany said softly coming into my room.

"Sure I'll come help just give me a second ill just turn this off" I try to be nice because she doesn't really do anything bad to me.

"Oh my god I freakin love this song" she speaks excitedly before starting to dance round in my bedroom I can't help but laugh at her little gangster dance she does.

"I know it's my pimp song I love it too" I laugh and she does too … for this little moment I think maybe this is what it's supposed to be like when you're in a family laughing and having fun.

"Haha true dat … come on we need to set this table before your mami goes bat shit crazy on us."

As I follow her down the stairs I notice the pictures along the cream wall … mami , Lara , Leo and her; I was always made to take the pictures never in them … I crinkle my eyebrows together as I try to forget all of it.

The one person who really was my family was my abuelo … god I loved that man throughout everything that was happening he was there for me I miss him so so so much.

_Flashback_

"_Now Bella I know since your mami and Britt have been married you've found it hard haven't you?" he said as we ate our pancake stack in Rosa's café at the beach where we surf every week. _

"_Si abuelo its hard mami isn't as nice anymore to me" I said as a lone tear streaked down my face._

"_I know sweetheart so if you ever want to talk, or your ever upset or want to stay somewhere else you come to me okay_ Bella ?". He spoke softly pulling me into a strong hug.

"_Si abuelo; te amo."_

"_Te amo Bella , I'll allways be here for you."_

A week later he died in a car accident … another person I loved had left ; but I don't blame him it wasn't his fault.

"They're here now … Bella on your best behaviour!" My mami shouts I roll my eyes and put a fake smile on my face as they walk through the door.

"Rachel, Quinn!" Brittany and mami run and hug them I'm guessing they're friends from school or something.

"It's been so long." Quinn says almost like she's disappointed "Oh My Barbra you two are the spit of Brittany!" Rachel squeals … wow not to be funny but she looks like a hobbit.

"You must be Lopez's daughter you look the spit of her hopefully not got her attitude" Quinn laughs as she pulls me into a hug… this is weird though because I haven't had a hug from someone in a long time , secretly I love it though I feel safe.

"Hell no Fabgay she's worse than me trust me" … as per usual it's not something nice my mami says about me … no hell will freeze over before that happens.

"I'm sure she's not that bad Santana" Rachel laughs pulling me into a hug too … you know I kinda like the hobbit "Lucy is just bringing the wine from the car.

I notice someone walking through the door this must be her… HOLY HELL gorgeous blonde hair , electric blue eyes and cute little freckles ; legs that go on forever she's beautiful like an angel.

Oh shit I'm in trouble…

**Hey guys I'm gonna try make them longer … as it's the first few chapters there going to be shorter ; please let me know just pm me or write a review if you have any questions or suggestions. Hopefully I can update sooner as all of my exams are over bye high school! **** (****I'****m from the ****UK**** by the way) … please R+R it means a lot to know what you all think and not all the chapters will be " a few months later" they will be continuous many thanks **


	3. Chapter 3

**Bella's p.o.v**

"Hey I'm Lucy" … wow even her voice is angelic ; okay what the fuck is going on I don't think stuff like this , trailing my eyes up and down those high wasted shorts defiantly look good on her.

"Hi I'm Santana its lovely to meet you" my mami says going to give her a hug … ouch that hurts. She has only just met the girl and she's giving her a hug, I haven't got a hug in years from her. Actually its been so long I've forgotten what it feels like when she hugs me, I miss it … I miss her.

After everyone introducing themselves its left to me,

"Hi I um … my names Bella" I say extending my hand so she can shake it … hesitantly I notice she reaches out to shake it – woah! Huge shocks tingle down me as I feel her hand its so soft that I never want to let go.

"Bella come help me and stop being so selfish!" my mami shouts me pulling me out of my trans … I notice Lucy look down like she wants to say something but stops herself; so I go to the kitchen to help.

"Here take these" Mami says as she shoves plates in my hands "well don't just stand there give them out for god's sake"

Don't say anything I tell myself just think one day you can leave and never come back.

"Here you go" I say politely putting the food down for everyone as everyone (apart from my family except Britt) say thank you.

As everyone eats whilst chatting I think … is this what it's always going to be like, will I always feel like this?

"So Bella do you have any hobbies … maybe a bit of Broadway?" Hobbit I mean Rachel says politely and to be honest I'm just thankful she even wants to speak to me as Lucy and Quinn look interested.

I open my mouth to speak but I'm cut off "nah her only talent is being a pain in the ass" Leo says and my family laugh whilst I notice that Lucy, Rachel and Quinn don't.

"Hey at least she hasn't got pregnant." Quinn finally says trying somewhat to defend me … it should be the other way round my family should do that not people I've only just met.

"If she gets pregnant ill beat her black and blue" mami says … that's kind of funny in a sick way; if only she knew what my dad does to me every week. "But trust me she's not as innocent as she looks" she continues snidely as I swallow back the lump that forms in my throat.

I notice Lucy looking at me intently across the table like she's trying to figure me out but I won't let her … I've spent years building up my walls and I'm not gonna let her just knock them down in one go.

"Bella clear up" My mami says sternly … I'm pretty fucking sure she's mistaken me for a servant because that's how she treats me half the time like I'm an object not a real person who does actually in fact have feelings (or what's left of them).

As I finish clearing up I get the one last wine glass of the table … flying forward I realise Lara tripped me and I fall into the wall the glass smashing in between the wall and my hand cutting it all over.

You wanna know the funny thing as I watch the red blood slowly trickle down my hands it doesn't hurt in the slightest because I know I feel worse on the inside.

"I'll clean that" Brittany says going to grab a dustpan and brush

"hahaha" Leo and Lara laugh muttering "that was freakin hilarious"

"For fuck sake those glasses were expensive can't you do anything right Bella!" Mami shouts cold and hard looking at me I see the hatred in her eyes and it kills me.

Don't cry … you're not that weak I tell myself , so instead I turn around and walk upstairs to the bathroom to go clean my hands.

"Hey there dyou want some help?" I notice Lucy followed me up … god the way her eyes sparkle I just want to look at them forever.

"Um-i… no I should be okay thank you" I say finally managing to get my words out … why am I like this around her … Jesus she's beautiful.

"Well your already doing it wrong … you can't pull the glass out like that you'll cut yourself even more now come sit here" she smiles as I sit on the counter she gets some tweezers and starts removing the glass from my hand.

"See I can't even do that right" I say snidely to myself forgetting she's there.

"Don't say that … everyone is good at something including you ; and I think your pretty perfect as it is so don't listen to them putting you down" Lucy speaks softly whilst moving the hair out of my face.

She leans in to kiss me … the smell of strawberry's invades me; our lips about to touch.

"Lucy were going now!" Quinn shouts up the stairs making me jerk away from her.

I notice Lucy's deep in thought as she purses her lips together its so cute.

"I guess you have to go…" I break the silence

"yeah … guess I do" She places a soft kiss on my lips … "I slipped my number in your pocket; text me later" she says before slowly walking out of the door.

I sit there touching my lips … they still tingle, holy shit she kissed me, HOLY SHIT SHE KISSED ME! The time had stopped, the earth had stopped as I had just been given the best kiss of my life and it was only a small peck.

As I look down at my hands I notice she has completely cleaned and sorted the glass out…

Who is this girl.

**So I thought I'd upload two in one day because im just that awesome … please R+R it means more to me than you know thanks for reading **


	4. Chapter 4

**Bella's p.o.v**

They always say all good things come to those who wait … well I feel like I've been waiting a pretty long damn time and had nothing good.

I sigh to myself as I climb into bed putting my headphones in … as Avril Lavigne comes on I think to myself this song describes perfectly how I feel.

_I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,__  
__She felt it everyday.__  
__And I couldn't help her,__  
__I just watched her make the same mistakes again.__  
__  
__What's wron__g, what's wrong now?__  
__Too many, too many problems.__  
__Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.__  
__She wants to go home, but nobody's home.__  
__It's where she lies, broken inside.__  
__With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.__  
__Broken inside.__  
__  
__Open your e__yes and look outside, find the reasons why.__  
__You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.__  
__Be strong, be strong now.__  
__Too many, too many problems.__  
__Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.__  
__She wants to go home, but nobody's home.__  
__It's where she lies, broken inside.__  
__With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.__  
__Broken inside.__  
__  
__Her feelings she hides.__  
__Her dreams she can't find.__  
__She's losing her mind.__  
__She's fallen behind.__  
__She can't find her place.__  
__She's losing her faith.__  
__She's __fallen from grace.__  
__She's all over the place.__  
__Yeah,oh__  
__  
__She wants to go home, but nobody's home.__  
__It's where she lies, broken inside.__  
__With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.__  
__Broken inside.__  
__  
__She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah__  
__She's lost i__nside, lost inside...oh oh yeah_

After singing softly with the music I decide eventually that I'm thirsty and considering I've been in my room how long … about 4 hours now and its 11 at night.

As I make my way past the living room into the kitchen I see my mami and Britt curled up on the sofa.

"I've never been so ashamed of her" I heard my mami say coldly

"San don't say that she's your daughter" I heard Brittany say softly stroking mami's hair with one hand whilst holding red wine with another.

"Really Britt Really! Did you see her tonight she embarrassed us in front of our friends … I'm so ashamed of her."

"Santana stop saying that; She didn't even do anything wrong… you know what I'm going to bed I don't want to be near you right now." Brittany spoke sadly shaking her head walking off to bed as I sprinted into the kitchen … she stood up for me; I'm torn right now because the little hope that I should feel , I don't all I feel is worse.

"Britt wait" I heard my mami plead as she came out the door

"not now Santana!" Brittany said harshly as she slammed her bedroom door shut.

As I fill up my glass of water I think about the word. Ashamed. There's no worse word in my opinion as it slices right through me more than the glass did cutting me… you know that there's no hope left when you hear that word she may as well have beat me instead ; I can tell you it hurts less.

"D'you feel better now… you've managed to ruin everything once again well done." Mami sneered forcing her way past me; I took a step back narrowing my eyes "all you do is ruin everything".

As she went passed me up the stairs I took in a deep breath gritted my teeth and walked up the stairs.

Going into my room I pulled out the bottle of tequila from my draw and started to drink and drink and drink before putting on my shoes and leaving the house.

"When you see my face hope it gives you hell hope it gives you hell" I started to sing sharply whilst walking down the road nearly falling over every five minutes.

"Well hey there gorgeous aren't you a beauty" I sexily say as I see an amazing looking blonde.

"Bella?" Oh shit I know that voice.

"LUCY LUCY IS A BEAUTY NANANANAWHAY!" I started to chant as I walked up to her pulling her into a bone crushing hug.

"Bella you're drunk" She stated angelically… did I mention she's beautiful.

"I love cuddles Lucy don't you?" I mumbled into her chest wow she's comfy. Unfortunately for me she pulls back.

"Hehe yeah I do… but I think we need to get you home" she chuckles taking my hand and starts leading me down the road.

"I don't wanna go home … I hate home; jackasses the lot of em ; part from Britt's she's not that bad" I slur out … her hands so soft soft soft.

"I know beautiful I know" She sighs and places a peck on my lips.

"Why are you being nice to me? … No one likes me; I'm a waste of space" I furrow my brows together looking up at her expectantly.

"I'm nice to you because you've done nothing against me; why would I not like you … all I see is a beautiful mistreated girl who I've known not even a day but I can't get enough of."

I stop and look into her eyes trying to find some sign that she's lying … that she doesn't mean it but all I can find is kindness and love.

"Come on were at my house now; you can stay here tonight okay". She says opening the door for me … god she really is something I think as I follow her into the house as we go upstairs.

"Um Luce … d'you have anything I could sleep in" I ask hesitantly as she hands me a coffee sobering me up quicker than what I thought.

"Sure Bell's" she throws some sweats at me that smell like strawberry's … god I love how she smells is that weird?

I start to strip off not even thinking…

"Bella!" Lucy says out of shock.

"What?"

"Your back what … who did this?" She speaks softly tracing her hand across my bruises as I shiver.

"It doesn't matter" I say brushing it off.

"Okay … look you don't have to tell me now ; but you can talk to me you know" she whispers as she starts to kiss down my back going to my ribs kissing each bruise before leading me onto the bed kissing me passionately. I hold her tight pulling her against me I want – no I need her closer … I've never felt this before.

She pulls back adding another peck before cuddling into me.

" I can see it in your eyes Bella … you want … no you need to be loved and I'm going to do that; im going to give you back what everyone took from you. I'm going to make you happy , you'll see I'm not going anywhere" She mumbles as she falls asleep with her head on my cheast leaving me wide awake thinking

Is there hope; could she be my happily ever after …

**Hey so I'm trying really hard to update every day … it means a lot to me to know what you think so pretty please R+R just for me … pm me if you have any questions or ideas I'd be happy to incorporate them many thanks.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella p.o.v**

Fuck … is the first thing I think when I wake up ; my head is absolutely pounding … what the hell happened last night ; oh wait I remember I got fucking drunk and made a complete ass of myself in front of Lucy.

Last night she was there for me when no one else was … she cared for me ; stop it Bella you've built up so many walls she can't just knock them down I curse myself silently.

Speaking of which where she is anyway.

As I start to make my way downstairs I notice the sound of singing which makes a smile tug at my lips, I peep round the corner of the door to see Lucy, Quinn and Rachel singing and dancing round the kitchen whilst making breakfast. Lucy looks so happy ; in her pj's her hair up in a messy bun … she is the definition of beautiful and right now watching her dance , well I can't take my eyes off her she's captivating.

_Wake me up before you go-go__  
__Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo__  
__Wake me up before you go-go__  
__I don't want to miss it when you hit that high__  
__Wake me up before you go-go__  
__'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo__  
__Wake me up before you go-go__  
__Take me dancing tonight__  
__I wanna hit that high (yeah, yeah)_

They're all good singers actually; especially Rachel … to see them all like that though, huge smiles on my faces makes my day and kills me at the same time.

You see that's all I want ; to have a family like that … I see Leo , Lara , Britt and my mami do that a lot but never when I'm there ; and well dad … yeah safe to say I don't think I'd ever do that with him.

I think it's probably just best that I left ; I guess at some point I have to realise that I'm never going to be anyone's first choice.

I start to sneak my way to the front door when I feel an arm on my shoulder.

"You're not sneaking out on me are you" Lucy asks with a full on smirk with one eyebrow raised god I could kiss her now.

"No … um … um no , no I just think I should get home ; you know leave you guys so you can have your family time" I say hastily trying to convince myself and her.

"Bels don't be silly were making breakfast for you too now come on; we have pancakes!" she beams excitedly pulling me into the kitchen.

When I go in it looks all beautiful set up with a glass of orange juice in each place; it's displayed so elegantly that part of me is afraid to go near it.

"Oh hey Bella I hope you like pancakes" Quinn says with a smile ushering me to take a seat next to Lucy.

As I notice it's not the seat at the end I start to panic a little "I um … are you sure it's okay for me to sit here" I point at the empty seat as Lucy pulls me down into it gracefully.

"Well where else are you gonna sit?" Rachel laughs and I pretend to laugh too … this is the most uncomfortable position I've ever been in, but when Lucy looks into my eyes I immediately relax into the chair and start to eat silently.

"So Bella what d'you want to do when you leave school?" Quinn askes casually and I nearly choke on my food … no one ever speaks to me when I'm eating let alone actually be interested in me.

"Oh I um" I start noticing them all looking intently at me "probably be a lawyer" I mutter.

"Yeah but what's your dream … what are you passionate about?" I hear Rachel ask inquisitively.

"Yeah what do you love to do?" Lucy encourages me …. You know what fuck it; they are nicer to me than my own family so why not treat them with some honesty.

"Well I um … I love to read; but my passion … my passion is singing, it's like a way to escape you know? I just … to sing … that my dream." I say with passion and hope.

"So why did you say law?" Quinn asks knowingly I see the look in her eyes.

"Because … because if I can do that and become successful; then maybe one day my mami will be proud and love me again" I say honestly my voice laced in hurt… then I realise I've said it ; fuck this family are tearing my walls down fast !

"Honey I'm sure she loves you and is extremely proud of you" Rachel says comfortingly as Lucy puts her hand on my leg to comfort me … sending a wave of shock through my body.

"Haha … I wish you were right" I say bitterly "but that's okay who needs family right?" I say psyching myself back up and helping Lucy take the dishes in.

As I go to collect the rest I feel Lucy pull me back and pin me against the door before I can even speak I feel her lips on mine and once again it's an explosion … its magical each and every time just like fireworks.

I moan pulling her into me when I hear the one the one thing I don't want to hear.

"Is she here? I swear to god when I find that girl I'm going to kill her" I hear my mami steaming as I pull away from Lucy closing my eyes and taking a deep breath before going into the living room.

"Oh there she is! Guess what … so there we were having breakfast when no one was fucking there to clear the fucking table where the hell have you been?" She shot angrily and for once in my life I feared her more than my dad.

"I w-was h-here" I say hesitantly.

"Oh really ? well how selfish of you… what makes you think that Rachel and Quinn even want you here?" Mami spat angrily.

"I um .. I don't kno-" I start to say but get cut off

"That's right they don't so apologise and then you're coming home" She says yanking me hard towards her.

"Im … s-s sorry" I tremble never seeing my mum this mad at me.

"oh honey its okay we liked having you" Quinn says sympathetically.

"Haha don't worry Quinn you don't have to lie"

"Don't talk about her like that … she's supposed to be your daughter; Bella is staying here again tonight" Lucy speaks defensively grabbing me and pulling me out of my mami's grasp.

"Bella I'm giving you to the count of 3 to be out of that door!"

"I'm sorry … I should go" I say sorrowfully looking at Lucy before heading to make my way out of the door trying desperately to hold in my tears.

"NO! you are staying here" Lucy says picking me up this time and locking me in her room.

"Lucy open this door now!" I shout .

As she opens it I try to get away but she's too quick locking us both inside.

"I can't let you go home … not when this is happening … and not until you tell me how you got those bruises" She says chocking back a sob.

Great now I have to tell her …

**Sorry its been a while but I've had some stuff going on … needless to say I'ts not great but im getting through and ill try to update asap . thankyou for reading and please review it really does mean more than you know **


	6. Chapter 6

**Bella p.o.v**

"It's not something I want to discuss Lucy" I say harshly "let me out now goddamn it!" I try to bang on the door knowing full well I can't and won't get out.

I look over to see her beautiful face soaked in tears … it breaks my heart so I go over to her and kneel in front of her kissing each of her tears away but I can't meet her eyes no way.

"Bella, baby, please tell me what's going on." I heard her plead from above me but I just tucked my head under her chin as I tried to control my breathing.

"I-I can't t-tell you" I say hesitantly because I know what will happen.

"Why baby?" She asks with so much sincerity it nearly breaks me as she strokes my hair placing gentle kisses on me.

"Because … because you'll leave me; I know you will." I get up trying to push the thoughts to the back of my head reaching for the door again.

I feel strong arms wrap around my waist as she whispers softly into my ear "be my girlfriend Bella; be my girlfriend and in return I will never leave you."

I turn around in her arms and finally face her; I look up into her eyes and all I see is love; love and adoration.

"Take a chance Bella, I see how hard it is for you to do that Bella but you have to take the chance for love … and if you do it can be the greatest thing in the world.

"Okay" I sigh as she cups the side of my face.

"So …that's a yes?" She asks for reassurance.

"Yes" I smile as she does a little fist pump and draws me in for a long tender kiss; moaning softly I feel like I'm floating and I don't want to stop. Finally I pull away to see a great big smile on her face before she leads me to her bed.

"Bella tell me" She commands and I just look at her confused

"What?" I ask

"Everything" she replies softly and I know … I know she wants to know me.

"O-okay" I take a deep breath as I lie back onto her chest and she starts to stroke my hair again and it relaxes me a lot.

"So … when I was younger I was happy you know; I had a mum and a dad and we were a family, we were happy … I-I was happy. And when they broke up … I was devastated and my dad was devastated I was only 9 years old I didn't understand , but my mami said to me that sometimes these things happen and they're meant to." I can already feel the tears prick the back of my eyes but I refuse to let them fall.

"Its' okay to cry baby" She says softly, how did she know?

"So we um, we moved out and I was so so sad … but my dad promised to take me to baseball games and stuff and promised to visit and he did … he stuck to that promise and he was my best friend Luce, he was always there for me. Mami used to take me out a lot and she was the kindest woman in the world. I could always talk to her you know-" I started to break down sobbing as Lucy held me into her telling me it was okay.

"We can stop baby you don't have to carry on I see how much this is hurting you" She spoke softly placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"No… no I want you to know me" I say strongly before she places another kiss just below my ear.

"So my mami would always tell me it was going to be okay because she loved me and as long as we had each other everything would be okay. And I believed her, so I was starting to get used to it. Then one day a couple years later she takes me out for coffee and tells me she's getting married to someone called Brittany. She told me in high school they were in love but the distance was breaking them; she told me Britt was her soul mate. It broke my heart because I thought/hoped she would get back together with my dad but she didn't love him I guess. D'you believe in soul mates?" I asked curiously shuffling further into her.

"Honestly … yes; it doesn't have to be love at first sight or anything but I believe everyone has someone they're destined to spend the rest of their life with. One person that will change their life, occupy your thoughts and then you're life isn't just yours anymore it's about that one person who you'd be willing to risk everything for" She speaks with content.

"Wow… so um yeah she said she was her soul mate; next thing I know Brittany and her two kids Lara and Leo moved in. And they didn't really bother with me any of them to be honest. And then … then it was the night of the wedding and – and … wow this is harder than I thought" I spoke wiping a tear from my face.

"It's okay beautiful it's only me take your time" Lucy says taking my hand in hers comforting me.

"So my dad ; I – um he said that we could be a family again I just had to help him ruin the wedding by convincing my mami Britt cheated and I said no … and he said that I should be punished for not doing what he asks and … and that's when the beatings began." I feel a whole weight lifted off my shoulders and Lucy pulls me into her as my body starts shaking with sobs.

"I got you baby; I'm not gonna let you fall again I'm gonna catch you every time you hear me?" She asks kissing my hair.

"I was going to tell my mami; so many times I nearly did but after she got married she changed, I don't know if it's because I didn't want to be a cheerio I don't know. But she stopped taking me out, she stopped talking to me, she stopped hugging me or telling me she loved me. She just changed Luce and she just … she's horrible to me all the time. I just wanna know what I did to make her hate me so much."

"It's okay beautiful I'm here now" She speaks still cradling me.

"For so so long, I've tried to make her proud of me; but it's never going to work is it? I've tried to be everything for her. I've spent so long trying to be who people want me to be I've forgotten who I am; and It scares the fuck out of me Lucy… I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I just want to feel okay again" I cry as she holds me and whispers sweet things into my ear.

I wake up later on realising I must have fallen asleep when Luce comes in "baby dinners ready wanna come down and eat."

"I think I should go home … I um it's probably best I go" I say making my way down the stairs.

"At least stay for dinner … please" I can tell she doesn't want me to go … she's scared I see it in her eyes so I lean forward and I kiss her with everything I am.

"Okay" I sigh following her to the dinner table where everyone starts to eat in silence.

"Are – are you okay?" Rachel asks me and I swallow the tears that are already starting to form again.

"I'm sorry… I'm so so sorry about before" I say sincerely.

"Don't worry about it; like I said we like having you here" Quinn followed up.

"I can't do this I'm sorry I need to leave" I say going to get up.

"Don't" I hear Lucy finally say?

"I have to … don't you get it. IM A SCREW UP and look at you" I say pointing to them all "you're like the most amazing people/family I've ever met and I can't screw this up too I can't let you down, you don't you understand!"

"You're right, I don't understand but I'm trying to and I need you to trust me!" she pulls my head in her hands forcing me to look her in the eye. " I know it's not going to be easy … but I can't let you go because remember when we were talking before ; well I think you might be my soul mate and I can't give up on you … I won't give up on you!" she yells back peppering my face in kisses.

"I'm so scared Lucy ; I'm scared my dad will always beat me , I'm scared my mum will always hate me but most of all … I'm scared of how you make me feel and I'm scared you'll realise I'm not worth it" I say clinging to her not letting go.

"I'm not letting you go baby and I'm not giving up on us" She reassures me leading me to the sofa to sit down.

"Bella what is going on?" Rachel askes as her and Quinn enter.

Oh shit!

**Okay guys so I'm sorry for not updating in ages but in one week my granddad almost died, my sister gave birth , my other sisters in hospital ill and my mum injured herself… safe to say I've been extremely busy holding down the fort! But pretty please R+R It means a lot to me and pm me with any questions or suggestions and hopefully it will be safe sailing from here … a special mention to Cory Monteith who will be forever in my heart RIP Cory thank you for being such an inspiration to so many people.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Bella p.o.v**

"I … um" I sit there with my mouth agape trying to think of some excuse but nothing comes out … so I sit there helplessly praying they didn't hear.

"Don't tell me what we heard was true" Rachel asked incredulously shifting her eyes between me and Lucy as I shuffle further into her.

"It's okay baby; they can help" Lucy sighs kissing me on the temple as she strokes my back soothingly.

"They can't" I say my eyes falling downcast

"Sweetheart is this true about your dad hitting you" Quinn asks sitting next to me.

"So what if it is; it's not like my Mami's any better" I scoff

"San wouldn't beat you" Quinn states turning her head away.

"Not physically, but mentally she's just as bad as my dad if not worse" I close my eyes taking a deep breath as Lucy kisses behind my ear nuzzling her nose into me.

"I think you should stay here again tonight" Rachel states firmly passing me a glass of water with a sincere look in her eyes.

"No" I say getting up "I should go home; the longer I stay here the worse it's gonna be so I should just go home."

"Well I'm coming with you then" Lucy says taking my hand and rubbing her thumb over my palm.

"Baby I don't think that's a good idea-" I start cautiously

"no I'm coming and that's final!" she breaks in authoritatively.

"Okay" I finally give in as we walk out the door. "Thank you… for everything" I say to Rachel and Quinn before exiting the house hand in hand with my girl.

My thoughts are in overdrive as we walk towards my house … deep breaths I tell myself it will be okay.

I enter to what seems to be an empty house until we enter the kitchen.

"You're home" Brittany states softly as she puts the rest of the washing away "and good to see you Lucy".

"Good to see you too" offering a polite smile Lucy replies as I grab her some coffee.

"So … where is everyone" I ask nervously mostly meaning mami,

"You're mami has taken Lara and Leo out for coffee" I try to hold back tears remembering that was always our thing. "I'd uh stay away from her she's not happy with you hun … where were you the other day?" she adds.

"I uh – I stayed at Lucy's" I add nervously "she's my girlfriend" I blurt out mistakenly regretting it straight away because she'll tell mami and well that's just another thing for them to take from me.

"Oh … well I'm happy for you; you could do with some happiness" Brittany smiles giving me a hug … Whoa hold up; she's never hugged me before and I … I love it.

"So how come you didn't go for the coffee?" Lucy asks offering a small smile.

"Oh its San's bonding time I don't wanna interrupt" Britt offers a small chuckle giving a wink Lucy's way. "Maybe we should go out eh Bella I feel like we don't do anything together"

"I um … yeah totally" I reply totally surprised by her actions it makes me feel warm inside.

"San's home … if I were you id both go upstairs and ill tell her you're asleep I got your back" Brittany ushers us upstairs as we quickly close the door behind us.

"Whoa" I say sitting on my bed with a huge smile "did you see that Luce she … she wants to spend time with me."

"I know baby"; then she looks at me with the most … most loving expression I've ever witnessed as a lone tear comes down my face she brushes it away kissing me softly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing… I … it's just no one has ever looked at me like that before." I say kissing her passionately pulling her down on the bed next to me as I brush my nose against hers.

Before I can say anything she pulls me back up off the bed into her arms.

"um what are you doing?" I ask confused as she starts moving around.

"Dancing silly" She replies like it's the most obvious thing in the world laughing slightly pulling me into her before twisting me out and back in.

"There's no music" I state … how can you dance with no music?

"We don't need music" she places my hand on her heart … oh my god I can feel it hammering against her chest "when our hearts beat like this why would we need music" … and at this moment I realise just how fast I'm falling.

"We can have a bit of music can't we?" I ask with a smile kissing her softly.

"Well where are we gonna play the music?" she asks confused as I have no stereo in my room.

"Who says were playing music?" I add a small grin as I notice her look at me quizzically.

I start to softly sing into her ear … I need her to know how I feel about her right now.

_You only stay with me in the morning  
You only hold me when I sleep  
I was meant to tread the water  
But now I've gotten in too deep_

For every piece of me that wants you  
Another piece backs away

You give me something  
That makes me scared alright  
This could be nothing  
But I'm willing to give it a try  
Please give me something  
Because someday I might know my heart

You only waited up for hours  
Just to spend a little time alone with me  
And I can say I've never bought you flowers  
I can't work out what they mean

I never thought that I'd love someone  
That was someone else's dream

You give me something  
That makes me scared alright  
This could be nothing  
But I'm willing to give it a try  
Please give me something  
Because someday I might call you from my heart

But it might be a second too late  
And the words that I could never say  
Are gonna come out anyway

You give me something  
That makes me scared alright  
This could be nothing  
But I'm willing to give it a try  
Please give me something

You give me something  
That makes me scared alright  
This could be nothing  
But I'm willing to give it a try  
Please give me something  
Because someday I might know my heart

Know my heart, know my heart, know my heart

_I _see the tears fall from her eyes "is that really how you feel baby?" She asks holding me tightly

"Yeah … yeah I'm falling so fast; and I'm afraid but I don't want to stop … I'm not really good with words so I sing I hope you don't mind" I say shifting my feet nervously.

"Do I mind? Baby that was the most romantic beautiful thing anyone's ever done for me; I know how hard it is for you which makes it mean all the more to me. Your voice is also beautiful just like you , beautiful; sexy and all mine" She states winking at me.

"All yours eh?" I question smirking.

"Mhmm forever and I plan on letting everyone know it."

"Forever?" I ask.

"I don't think I could let you go even if I tried baby"

**Hey guys so I thought I'd try and do a chapter that's a bit happier, are you happy about how Britt's acting I think Bella could do with a break from everything don't you? … Please R+R you know it means a lot to me ;) and don't hesitate to pm me if you have any ideas , advise or questions I'm always here thank you **


	8. Chapter 8

**Bella p.o.v**

As I stir I notice I'm trapped; what the fuck is going on I think but coming to my senses I realise the thing weighing me down is Lucy. But I don't move her I don't try to wake her up … I just take this time to appreciate how beautiful she is.

Her freckles – dotted around her face 32 to be exact from counting; adorable

Her eyes – so blue like a crystal ocean I could get lost in them

Her lips – so soft against mine

Her nose – when she scrunches it up is so cute

Beautiful … that's the only way I can describe her; words don't do her justice but then again nothing will. Nothing can justify someone so beautiful inside and out when I'm with her I feel complete … I feel a flame between us; one tiny piece of light beneath all my darkness bringing me back to life.

I feel light feather kisses on my neck ; they tickle but set my body on fire at the same time … I want to take our relationship slow but – but I can't not when I have the most perfect thing on the whole god damn planet lying with me.

"Morning" I offer politely smiling as she flutters open those beautiful eyes.

"Morning baby; your voice sounds so raspy in the morning … totally sexy" my baby grins before kissing me on the lips over and over as I laugh before pulling me into one … one so passionate I don't want it to end. Unfortunately though its either end this kiss or die from lack of oxygen I'm gonna have to take the first option.

"So mi Hermosa novia … want to get some breakfast" I say placing lazy kisses against her neck.

"I don't know what you just said but I've never wanted to get breakfast with someone so bad." She whispers delicately in my ear before getting up. "Oh and just so you know … speaking Spanish really turns me on baby" She whispers again licking the shell of my ear before walking out leaving me trailing behind her … tease.

As we make our way down the stairs I notice everyone's sat at the table eating … well shit!

Lucy carefully threads her hand in mine offering me a reassuring look as we make our way to the table oh so awkwardly.

"Morning Bella … you too Lucy" Brittany speaks up pouring us both some coffee.

"Morning" We both reply in unison I can't believe how awkward this is.

"So are you guys like together?" Lara asks with a shocked tone in her voice

"yeah … yeah we are" Lucy replies for me stroking my hand under the table reassuring me.

"You never said you were into girls" Mami states coldly

"Well you never asked" I stated simply sipping my coffee gripping Lucy's hand tighter.

"I mean why would you even date her … eww?" Leo cringes across the table, instantly I get the feeling in the pit of my stomach; you're not worth her … she could be happy, happy with someone else not you.

"Oi stop" Brittany says warningly looking at him sternly.

"Come on she is a waste of space" Lara scoffs looking towards me … and then my mami laughs and unwantedly my heart breaks all over again.

"Don't say that!" Lucy shouts as my eyes open wide oh shit has hit the fan fucking hell now what do I do. "Don't say she's a waste of space; she's supposed to be your sister god damn it! And you" she points at my mami … oh hell no!

"Me?" Mami asks incredulously

"Yeah you! She's supposed to be your daughter … your own flesh and blood d'you even realise that?" She asks and I notice all the colour drain from Mami's face "you make me sick … see that girl that's your daughter and you treat her like she's nothing. What did she do to make you treat her so bad? I notice you don't treat the others like that … you are supposed to be her mother; you are supposed to be the one person who loves her no matter what. And you don't even care about her do you? You know what you make me sick …" she finishes off her rant red in the face as I take her hand in mine shocked unable to speak as is everyone else.

I stand rooted in my spot not able to say anything as no one makes eye contact with me … I see mami gripping her knife and I just want to leave; I want to take the knife and I want to relieve some of this pain I carry round with me … but I can't do that because of Lucy I know it would hurt her and I don't want to hurt her I want to love her unconditionally but I'm scared.

After minutes of insufferable silence Lucy decides to speak up taking my face into her hands.

"You are beautiful, you are kind, you are funny, you are caring, you are everything to me and these people… they might not care but I do and I'm gonna prove how much you mean to me every god damn day baby, every day" I wipe the tears from her eyes as she pulls me into a searing kiss and at this moment I don't care who's looking because this … this is what love feels like.

"Thank you" I whisper so softly it's barely audible but she understands kissing me on the forehead.

"I'm gonna have to go , I can't be around you guys not after how you treat her apart from Britt I can't stand any of you at least she's not horrible … I'll see you later baby I need some time to think"

As she exits the door I feel heavy again … like all the weight has now been dropped back on me and as I look round the table yet again no one meets my eyes ; except Brittany she looks up sorrowfully and I nod to tell her it's okay.

Well this is fucking awkward!

**Hey so I hope you liked the chapter what did you think of Lucy in this? as always I love reviews so I would love to get some **** and pm me for any suggestions , questions (whoa rhyme **** ) or anything else thanks for reading **


	9. Chapter 9

**Bella p.o.v**

As soon as Lucy left things just got from awkward to more awkward by the minute.

Who knew the silence could be so powerful the only thing I can hear is the occasional sips of drinks … this is fucking crazy!

"I'm just gonna go … yeah" I mumble as I lift my cup and take it into the kitchen before heading off upstairs.

Thank god for that I think making it into my bedroom before exhaling a deep breath pulling out my guitar.

_You, with your words like knives,__  
And swords and weapons that you use against me.__  
__  
You, have knocked me off my feet again,__  
Got me feeling like a nothing.__  
__  
You, with your voice like nails on a chalk board, calling me out when I'm wounded.__  
__  
You, picking on the weaker man.__  
__  
You can take me downnn,__  
With just one single blow~__  
__  
But you don't know,__  
What you don't know!__  
__  
Someday, I'll be, living in a big ol' city,__  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.__  
Someday, I'll be, big enough so you can't hit me,__  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.__  
__  
Why you gotta be so mean?__  
__  
You, with your switching sides,__  
And your wildfire lies, and your humiliation.__  
__  
You, have pointed out my flaws again.__  
As if I don't already see them.__  
__  
I walk with my head down,__  
Trying to block you out, cause I'll never impress you.__  
I just want to feel okay again.__  
__  
I bet you got pushed around~__  
__Somebody made you cold.__  
But the cycle ends right now.__  
Because you can't lead me down that road.__  
__  
And you don't know,__  
What you don't know.__  
__  
Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city,__  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.__  
Someday I'll be,__  
Big enough so you can't hit me.__  
__  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.__  
__  
Why you gotta be so mean?__  
__  
And I can see you years from now, in a__bar__,__  
Talking over a__football game__.__  
With that same big loud opinion,__  
But nobody's listening.__  
__  
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things.__  
Drunk and grumbling on about,__  
How I can't sing.__  
__  
But all you are is mean.__  
__  
All you are is mean,__  
And a liar,__  
And pathetic,__  
And alone__in life__.__  
__  
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean!__  
__  
But someday I'll be living in a big ol' city,__  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.__  
YEAH-EAH!__  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,__  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.__  
__  
Why you gotta be so mean?__  
__  
Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city,__  
(Why you gotta be so mean)__  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.__  
__(Why you gotta be so mean)__  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,__  
(Why you gotta be so mean)__  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean._

I don't notice the presence in my room until I feel a soft hand on my shoulder.

"I think it's time me and you went for that coffee" Brittany says softly taking my hand.

As I follow her downstairs everyone avoids eye contact still; if I felt isolated before well now I feel completely removed.

"I'm taking Bella out for coffee" Brittany states sternly looking my mami right in the eye.

"Oh … okay" She replies her voice cracking

"Yeah so I don't know when we'll be back but whatever" Brittany finishes before pulling me out the door with her and to be honest I'm thankful I take a deep breath … it's like freedom.

As we get in the car we fall into a silence; but surprisingly it's not even uncomfortable … I feel comfortable enough around her.

We enter the small coffee shop … I've not been here in what feels like forever without my mami I didn't feel any need to come here so I stayed away; the smell of familiarity inhales my lungs and oddly it feels like home.

"Um ill have a vanilla latte … and for you Bella?" Britt asks softly giving me a small wink.

"Um ill have a cappuccino please" I reply offering a short smile before going to sit down with her across a short table in the corner.

I take a small sip of my coffee wincing as it burns the tip of my tongue.

"Silly ha-ha you're mum does that all the time as well"

I offer a small nod; not wanting to know how we're similar … not wanting to know there's a chance I could end up like her.

"I didn't know you sang…"

"Yeah well; you never asked" I answer a bit too shortly before offering a small apology.

"Don't apologise because you're right. Look I'm not stupid … I – I realise how they've all been treating you. And I'm sorry … I'm sorry because I should have intervened sooner but I didn't; but that stops now, this all stops now" she finishes sternly and I see a tear come down from her eye; feeling bad I lean across the table brushing it away.

"Look I accept your apology, but why now I mean; it's not like you've ever really bothered with me before?" I ask trying not to sound too harsh.

"Bella … I don't really have a valid excuse I guess for not being there for you; I knew It broke you're heart I could see it in your eyes. I had to live with breaking up a family and I knew how strong you and your dad's relationship was … how the hell was I even supposed to compete with that? I guess I realised that … that I may not be your dad well clearly I'm a woman but I still want to be a parent to you and I haven't been I just hope it's not too late." She finishes crying furiously as I reach over pulling her into a hug trying not to let the tears fall myself.

I take her hands in mine "listen to me Brittany … we may not have done anything together but trust me out of everyone you are the only one who's acted like any form of family. Right now proves to me that … that maybe you're the only real parent I have and I forgive you Brittany." I speak from the heart as she reaches her head to look into my eyes as they soften I notice she's processing everything.

"You're mami loves you" she states strongly more like she's trying to convince herself more than me.

"No she doesn't but that's okay … I don't need her; she's not been there for me when I needed her and I defiantly don't need her now not after everything I've been through" I scoff turning my head.

"What… what have you been through?" Brittany speaks cautiously like she's afraid of what my answer will be.

"That … that's something I don't even know if we should talk about" I reply hesitantly because part of me is afraid still.

"I-I want to … I just; I don't know if I can yet" I try to reassure her failing miserably.

"Look Bella I love you as if you were my own … and from now on I'm going to show you that; so when you feel ready to tell me I'll be here with open arms ready to listen" She says sincerely and I thank her as we start to walk out the coffee shop and get into the car.

"Oh and Bella"

"Yeah?"

"Tell your girl thank you and well done for kicking some ass" giving me a wink we get into the car;

And for the first time in a long time … I feel genuinely happy in my life.

**Hey guys so I hope you liked this chapter … I think I might do mami Lopez next chapter so pm me with anything you want to happen and ill always do my best to incorporate it. Please review and thanks for reading it means a lot **


	10. Chapter 10

**Santana p.o.v**

As I see Britt walk in through the door I know immediately I'm in the dog house … fucking great! I see Bella quietly wonder upstairs and I don't say anything, I don't say hi I just look blankly at the floor as Brittany offer's her a soft smile before coming to me with a stern look.

"you upstairs now" she says harshly before stomping upstairs into our room ; slowly I drag myself to our room not daring to look her in the eye … afraid of what I'll find.

"Britt" I eventually my voice cracks out after what feels like an eternity of silence

"No don't you feel sorry for yourself not now" she spits angrily as I flinch from her voice.

"I'm sorry" I whisper a faint sound,

"Sorry!" she yells … "why are you sorry Santana and more importantly why are you apologising to me hmm?"

"I didn't mean … I didn't realise" I can't get my words out; I have so many thoughts going round in my head right now how could I?

"Didn't realise, didn't realise what Santana that you were treating your daughter; your own flesh and blood like she's worthless… is that really what you think of her" she bangs on the wall in frustration and I've never seen her so angry, I've never seen her shake with anger not like now and its scaring the fucking hell out of me.

"No … of course I don't think she's worthless" I hang my head shamefully

Brittany just sighs not even bothering to look at me … minute after minute its quiet and I'm afraid to speak.

"You know what Santana?" she lifts my head up so I'm looking directly in her eyes ; she leans in and kisses me passionately as I grip the back of her head drawing her into me needing her wanting her but a sigh escapes my lips as she pulls away.

"Every time I kiss your lips, feel you're body against mine, feel you're touch … I know I love you. But I don't like you San, I don't like you one bit" I don't notice the tears running down my face until she starts to wipe them away with the pads of her thumbs.

I close my eyes trying to will everything away; but I know it's hopeless … I'm helpless I can't live without Britt I love her too much; but look at what I've done … I'm a monster.

"Are you gonna leave me" I ask shakily trying to control my emotions but I guess that's the trouble I've always had.

"I don't know Santana … I guess it was stupid of me to think we could have a perfect little family; maybe I was expecting too much"

"Don't call yourself stupid Brittany and we can have that I will change I swear I can't lose you baby please" I beg the tears now streaming as I hold onto her for dear life; she can't leave me not now I have her back.

"I hope you can change Santana otherwise I'm going to leave you; because this woman is not the one I fell in love with but I'd give anything to get her back… and Santana if I leave I'm not coming back and I'll be taking Bella with me; I admit I could have tried harder with her but I'm making up for it now or at least trying too , just because you might not want to be a parent to her doesn't mean I don't … and if I leave with her you'll be truly alone and only have yourself to blame" she finishes not even giving me a chance to speak before she's left me in our room.

I notice a box under the bed that I pull out; photo albums … pictures of Bella when she was a baby … god what have I done to her; I'm so selfish … so so selfish.

I can't believe how horrible I've been

I'm a monster

"I'm sorry" I whisper clutching the pictures " I'm so fucking sorry" I get out in-between sobs as I slide down the wall crying for what must have been hours.

"No god damn it" I tell myself "stop feeling sorry for yourself and sort this shit out"

I sigh as a text pops up from my phone from Bella's dad _I'__ll be there around 9 _a text reads on my screen; well there's no time like the present … I guess this gives me an excuse to have a talk with her I figure as I make my way to her room.

You can do this

It's just Bella

She's your daughter

Yeah the daughter you've treated like crap.

Shut up brain! I think telling myself to stop being such a pussy and get my ass in there. Taking a deep breath I psych myself up … this is it I think knocking on the door.

"Bella your dad will be here at-" I start but … holy fuck what the hell has happened; I take a few minutes to process.

"Bella what … what's going on?" I ask shakily as I noticed the shocked expression on her face.

Her body is black and blue, bruised and cut.

Who the fuck did this?

**Hey guys so I'm having a real tough time at the moment… let's just say I'm not in a great place; but I'm trying to get as many chapters out as possible not sure how long they'll be though anyway please R+R and thanks again for reading.**


	11. Chapter 11

**This is for the guest who offered their opinion many thanks to you I hope you enjoy it … I'm sorry I don't know you're name but you know who you are **

**Bella p.o.v**

CRAP! What the fuck do I do I can't lie now she's caught me … okay play it cool.

"Who did that to you?" Mami asks tracing her hands over me as I take in a sharp breath.

"No one" I state simply pulling away from her grasp; changing my shirt , who the fuck does she think she is; I'm done with this shit.

"Bella Lopez you tell me right now!" she yells throwing a book across the room as I flinch back.

"Why the hell do you even want to know you don't even care?" I yell as I feel a tear leak down my face as she tries to grasp my hand I pull back so quickly I fall into the wall

"Who did this" she states simply how dare she I'm so pissed or has she just hurt me too much for me to even speak.

I don't listen to her I just turn round and start packing a bag for my prison sentence aka to go to my dad's, she'll be glad to get rid of me.

"Tell me now or I swear to god I'll-" she starts to raise her voice before I decide to cut her off,

"You'll what you'll hurt me … you don't care about me you never have!" I throw my clothes aggressively as I feel my body shaking.

"Bella please!" she starts ranting "Voy a matar a quien te hizo esto"(I will kill whoever did this)

"Dad" I let out a faint whisper; but I know she heard.

"Oh so you'll tell him but not me!" She yells my way

"No dad … dad did this" I cry

"He … he did that" She states more than asks shakily like she can't believe it I notice her eyebrows knit together as a single tear drops from her eye.

"Yeah , you wouldn't care anyway and dad at least makes me feel something, so I know I am alive" I stutter not being able to control my tears… as she starts to break down I can't handle this so I do the only thing I can … I run to the only place I feel safe; in Lucy's arms.

I hear my Mami's pleads but I keep running even though there's a storm; I keep running and I don't stop… I can't stop until I reach the front door banging for dear life.

"Bella… Lucy's out with Quinn they're on their way back; come in sweetheart" Rachel looks confused as I just latch onto her and let the tears fall as she holds me dearly whispering it's okay over and over in my ear not letting go of me as I pour my heart out to her about everything.

This family are the closest thing I have to one and I can't let them go now.

"We're gonna make this go away sweetie; he won't hurt you again" She reassures me holding me still.

"I… I'm sorry I …" I start not being able to get any words out.

"hey look at me" she says tilting my head up "You're part of our family now sweet heart; don't ever feel you don't have one … me , Quinn , Lucy; were you're family too."

Before I get a chance to get another word out I hear the front door open as Lucy walks in her face instantly narrowing.

"Baby … what's wrong?" She asks as I run into her arms and hold tightly onto her breathing her in holding her tightly into me as she picks me up I wrap my legs around her instantly.

"Bella me and Quinn are going to have a talk with your mami okay" Rachel asks giving me a kiss on the forehead as I faintly nod.

" she walked in and saw my bruises so I told her… about my dad and I couldn't handle it so I came to the only place in this world I feel safe" I whisper into her as we lie on her bed her holding me tightly pressing soft kisses to my lips.

"I'm proud of you baby … I – I love you" she speaks nervously as she looks into my eyes "I love you so fucking much baby with everything I am."

"You do?" I ask for reassurance

"I definitely, undeniably do" she says more confidently drawing me into a series of passionate kisses.

"Let me show you baby" she says as she starts to kiss my neck; I arch into her as she starts to nibble and suck on my pulse point "let me show my love for you" she whispers softly lifting my top of as she starts to make her way down my collarbone as I moan over and over.

"god baby keep going" I whimper pulling her further into me; I feel her smirk against me before taking off my bra and taking a nipple into her mouth.

"fuck" I moan; sure I've had sex before but I've never felt like this my whole body is on fire I cant take it as she massages both my boobs kissing down my stomach.

"is this okay?" she asks as she starts to pull both my trousers and my panties down kissing the insides of my thighs as she goes along before kissing her way back up.

"¡Dios mío! Baby I need you" I exasperate pulling her in for a searing kiss as she grinds down into me the pleasure going straight to my core.

"You're so hot when you speak Spanish" she kisses me before plunging two fingers into me.

"Fuck!" I yell I feel so good as she moves in and out with me holding my gaze I feel complete with her.

"You're beautiful- and funny- and kind- and caring- and everything to me baby" She whispers in my ear between kisses.

"Baby harder" I moan as she obliges feeling myself come closer to my edge but I don't want to let go… I don't want this to be over I want to feel like this forever.

"Baby let go" she commands looking into my eyes "I love you; let go for me baby" she nudges her nose against mine as I fall over the edge.

"Oh my god Lucyyyyy !" I yell as she curls her fingers I've never felt so loved.

She slowly pulls out her fingers before kissing me softly as I close my eyes and take in a deep breath.

"I love you too you know" I say holding her into me.

"Yeah?" she asks softy intertwining our fingers.

"Mhmm more than you'll ever know" I mumble as I feel my eyes pull me into a deep sleep.

**Santana p.o.v**

I can't believe I let this happen; I think to myself as I sit on the floor holding her hoodie in my arms what have I become I ask myself sorrowfully; I'll never let her down like this again … my baby girl.

"San; Bella's dads here!" Britt yells up the stairs and I feel myself flare with anger as I storm down the stairs with one aim in mind as I notice Rachel and Quinn come in through the door as well.

"Hey is she read-" He doesn't even get to finish before I punch him in the face knocking him to the floor before I climb on top of him hitting him repeatedly in the face.

"Fuck!" he yells as I punch him for everything.

"This is for my baby girl!" I yell kicking him in the ribs before I feel myself being restrained

"Calm down for me baby" Brittany sooths in my ears placing gentle kisses behind my ear and I instantly start to relax.

"What the fuck was that?" He asks touching the blood that's dripping down his ugly face I can barely look at him.

"That? That is for beating my daughter; that is for giving her bruises all over her body; I hope you rot in hell!" I yell "voy a matar, hijo de puta te voy a matar" (I will kill you, motherfucker I'll kill).

"San-" he starts

"Get the fuck out of my house before I kill you" I seethe giving my death glare as he reaches for the door, "you come here again I'll kill you , you speak to my daughter, you see my daughter , you even think about my daughter again I will kill you do I make myself clear?".

"Yes" he mutters holding his head down in shame.

"Good now get out before I do something I'll regret" I clench my fists to prove a point; he's not coming near her again.

"Rach is Bella at your house?" I ask calming slightly as she nods at least I know she is safe now ; my baby girl is going to stay that way.

"Good I'm gonna have a talk with her tomorrow, for now I fucking need a drink and to calm down" I state excusing myself from everyone and pouring myself a glass of whiskey.

There's only one thing on my mind now…

Santana Lopez time to fix some shit.

**Hey guys so I hope you liked the chapter 2 in one day eh **** well ****I'****m also trying to sort myself out so thanks for all your kind words it means a lot to me. I'm gonna do the talk tomorrow so if you have any ideas pm me or whatever … please R+R and once again thanks for reading folks.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Bella p.o.v**

I wake up to the most beautiful sight in the world. My girlfriend, I can't help but notice the little strand of hair covering her face so I gently tuck it behind her ear before snuggling in closer to her.

I long for these moments because with all the bad stuff going on; she makes me feel like the luckiest person alive and all I want to do is spend forever in her arms.

"You're staring" she speaks sleepily and if I wasn't focused on how cute she sounded I'd probably be wondering how the hell she figured it out without opening her eyes.

"How can I not when you're so beautiful baby?" I ask as I notice a small smile creep on her face as she kisses me softly.

"Mmm morning" she nudges her nose against mine before fluttering her beautiful blue eyes open.

"Morning my love" I speak softly back placing gentle kisses on her one by one as I hear her moan I straddle her before kissing her passionately with love.

"Mmm so good" she moans in between kisses as I grind my hips down into hers, "fuck me baby that's so good"

"oh I will" I smirk as I kiss my way down her neck , biting , sucking … she tastes so good I can't stop myself from doing it harder as she wraps her legs tightly around my back pulling me into her further.

I kiss my way down her neck and start to kiss her boobs one by one I give them all the loving and attention they deserve muttering "you're so beautiful" before swapping to the next tracing light patterns with my fingertips as she moans louder and louder.

"Fuck so hot" she whimpers as I start to kiss down her torso trailing my tongue up and down

"Tan caliente" (so hot), "tan Hermosa" (so beautiful), "todo mío" (All mine) I speak as I kiss the insides of her thighs moaning when I smell her essence.

"God baby I fucking love it when you speak Spanish" She breathes out as I take one painfully slow taste of her.

"Fuck baby don't tease please" she begs as I lick again but a little quicker this time.

I thrust my tongue into her as she yells "fuck baby!" forcing my head further into her tightening her grip in my hair and it's the hottest thing I've ever witnessed.

"Don't stop" she yells as I circle her clit with my thumb before I start to feel her shake around me I lap up all of her juices moaning at how good she tastes before kissing my way back up her body kissing every inch of skin I can find.

"Te amo baby" I say kissing her lips softly as she is still panting

"Best-sex-ever" she gets out in-between breaths pulling me in for another kiss.

"You get a shower baby and I'll go make some pancakes okay?" I ask pulling on some of her sweats god I love wearing her clothes I think as she mumbles a small yes and I have a little victory dance inside.

So for half an hour now I've been doing the pancakes; making little faces on them with blueberry's, strawberry's and raspberry's because they're her favourite fruit.

"Wow babe" I hear as I notice Lucy come down the stairs in some sweats yet she still looks so beautiful. "You made smiley face pancakes" She lets out a huge grin before digging in with me as I check my phone I sigh.

"What's up baby?"

" I have loads of texts; seems my mami wants a chat … great" I scoff taking the last bite out of my pancakes I just want this to all be over with now.

"Baby this could be a good thing; maybe she realises now" she speaks softly taking my hand in hers.

"What if … I don't know if I'm strong enough" I make out eventually trying to get my thoughts across.

"Strong enough for what?"

"I don't know if I'm strong enough to let her back in to get hurt again; I don't know if I can do it… it's so hard baby" I sigh in the crook of her neck as she holds onto me.

She pulls back looking me directly in the eyes "You baby, you're the strongest person I've ever met and bravest which is why I believe you can do this baby; you need to talk to her."

"I know" I realise painfully

"And if you fall baby I'll always be here to catch you" she finishes giving me a gentle but passionate kiss on the lips "I love you"

"I love you too baby, so much" I answer before putting on some shoes as we walk towards probably the scariest thing in my life.

As we come to the front door I can feel myself shaking uncontrollably;

"Baby breathe, it's okay" Lucy says placing her hands on my shoulders "you got this."

I nod before giving her one last kiss as we walk into the house and they are all sat in the living room, Mami, Britt, Rachel and Quinn.

"Hey guys" Lucy speaks up for me knowing my nervousness.

"Hey Luce, Bella" Brittany speaks sensitively as I nod in nervously.

"Um how about we all go for a coffee so you guys can talk" Rachel suggests sweetly as they all agree leaving me and mami in silence.

"Mija" Mami says as she comes and sits next to me trying to take my hand as I quickly move away I notice her.

"Don't call me that" I wince hearing the name roll of her tongue

"What d'you me-"

"I'm not your mija" I say seriously with harshness how dare she call me that!

"If I'd have known about your dad I would have stopped it" she says sincerely.

"Stopped it ha-ha, I'm surprised you wouldn't want to join in" I laughed sarcastically

"You know I wouldn't do that, I may be a lot of things but I don't do that … not to the people I love"

I notice the tears start to fall from her face as I try my best to ignore them… "yeah but you don't love me that's the thing" I whisper taking a deep breath.

"I do love you baby girl" I cringe inwardly as she says the words I've been longing to hear ... but I can't believe them anymore.

"Then why do you treat me like this!" I yell losing it "don't say you love me because I don't believe you! I've needed you so many times and I had no one but myself to rely on... where were you when I needed a mum where were you?" I ask breaking into sobs as I slide down the wall.

She pulls me so tight into her grip that I couldn't let go if I tried to; and I want to let go so bad but feeling her hold me again after all these years is magical.

"I love you baby girl I'm so so sorry; I'm gonna be here now for you I promise" she holds tighter not letting me go.

"I've spent so many years without you... I don't need you anymore" I sigh feeling drained.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there before I just ... I hate the world so much mija, I hate it for how it treated me and Brittany in school when we got together, and I hate the world for everything bad it's done to me. And I take it out on you" She cries into me "I'm sorry".

"Why me?" I ask hoarsely from all the crying.

"Because ultimately you're the only one who can never leave me" she whispers like she knows what she's done to me.

"So you didn't even have a real reason" I state more than speak as it settles in I start to feel bad; but then I realise she has no excuse to have treat me the way she did and it makes me fuming.

"Mija" she starts

"So you didn't even have a real reason for treating me this way! Do you even know what you've put me through I thought about cutting myself because of you, I thought about suicide! I had nothing do you have any idea what it's been like for me! I go to school I get the crap kicked out of me because I'm gay and I get called a dyke by none other than the people who are supposed to be my brother and sister; then I come home and get called worthless and god knows what else! Then I go to dads and get the crap beaten out of me. I had nothing; no one after abuelo died... and now I find out that it's all for no fucking real reason!" I rant letting everything out in between sobs, how could she do that too me.

"You thought about suicide?" She asks her voice breaking in the process as more tears fall.

"Yeah a lot of times actually ... I used to plan it out but just as I'd go to do it I'd realise how selfish it was. There are people out there who get life taken away from them and I was ready to throw mine away. But then as dad carried on beating me in a way I felt relieved." I let out shakily.

"Relieved?"

"You seemed to hate me so much, when he beat me it made me feel like I was earning myself forgiveness from what I did to make you hate me so much" I croak out scrunching my eyes shut.

"I'm so so so so sorry baby girl lo siento I promise I will never treat you like that again." She says taking my hand kissing it.

"I'm so tired mami." I state "I'm so tired of hurting and feeling numb ... I just want to be okay again" I cry as she pulls me closer rocking me back and forth.

"Will you try with me then mija? Will you try to help me fix this family ... together" She asks hopeful.

"Okay" I say feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders as she tells me she loves me lying down on the sofa with me.

"Obviously your dads never coming here again, I hit him a few times and sent him packing"

"Okay" I state again softer this time knowing for the first time in a long time she's tried to protect me.

"When did he start doing it?" She asks softly stroking my hair as my eyes close softly at the feeling.

"Your wedding night" I instantly feel her hands freeze and I open my eyes softly to see her teary ones questioning me. "He told me we could be a family again all I had to do was make it look like Brittany cheated on you. But I knew that you loved her and she made you happier than you ever were with dad so ... so I said no and that's why he started" I finish feeling a weight lifted off my chest.

"It's my fault" She states guiltily as she starts to shake and apologise.

"Mami, it's not your fault you didn't make him do it ... were supposed to be moving forward now" I comfort her rubbing her back soothingly as she stops shaking.

"I love you with all my heart mija" she speaks softly before drifting off to sleep on the sofa.

And as I slowly drift to sleep myself I think how for the first time in a long time,

I feel loved.

**Hey guys so I hope you liked the chapter; I didn't really plan it I just felt it and I hope you felt it too. Thank you for reading and please review I love when you do... any questions any advice any ideas or even if you just want a chat pm me or write it in a review and I'll get back to you many thanks :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Bella's p.o.v**

It's strange, my mami being nice to me I mean. It's like she just expects things to go back to how they were years ago and to be honest I'm having a hard time adjusting I guess, I don't know how to act; how to behave and what to do because I'm not used to it.

I know that when Lara and Leo get back it's gonna be harder; part of me thinks it's going to go back to the way it was… sometimes I just feel so lost in myself in the house because I'm not used to having people to rely on, usually it's just me , myself and I.

"Hey kiddo, Lara and Leo are back so I'm gonna talk to them and then we'll have breakfast okay?" Brittany asks popping her head round my door pulling me out of my thoughts,

"hm? Yeah yeah okay" I reply nervously counting to ten in my head to try and calm down.

As she leaves my room I hear a stern "Leo , Lara get here now!" from Brittany from there on I just hear snippets of "I'm sorry" and "She is your sister" echo throughout the house before I heard my mami "look we've all done something wrong now we just need to fix things".

I decide I've heard enough and drag myself away to get changed into a pair of shorts and a red vest top before texting Lucy to let her know that I'll come over later on for some lady loving because I want to get ma cuddle on.

"Mija breakfast is ready!" My mami yells up the stairs and I immediately have to try and keep myself calm before heading down the stairs where everyone sits silently at the table, sitting down and starting to eat is so awkward, no noise just silence.

"So um … what are you doing today" Brittany asks clearly trying to ease the tension,

"I'm gonna go to Lucy's for a bit I haven't seen her in a few days" I try to say as casually as possible as mami is sat reading her newspaper.

"Um … I was thinking me and you could go for a coffee later; like the old days if you want to that is" Mami asks nervously , I know she's nervous because she's rubbing circles in the palm of her hands with her thumbs… same thing I do.

"I-uh yea okay" I speak hesitantly thinking how quick this is escalating when a few weeks ago she would have just snarled at me instead; this is just getting too much and I'm freaking out.

I notice everyone has finished eating so like normal I start to side the table alone taking everyone's stuff into the kitchen before my mami grabs my hand to stop.

"It's okay; we can do that mija" She says going to take the plates off the edge of the table where I've stacked them up.

"Nah it's okay I'm used to doing it so…" I continue to stack the stuff up before she tries to help me "I can do it" I say harsher than intended,

"mija I was just trying to help" She offers calmly infuriating me even more

"Helping me… I think were a little past that don't you!" I yell in frustration

"I thought we had gotten past this" she sighs shaking her head.

"Gotten past this! You've treated me like crap for years and you expect things to just go straight back to before 6 years ago! It's freaking me out this is too fucking fast; I'm trying to forgive you but it's not fucking easy for me! You can't just expect me to be okay with all of this it's too much, I don't know any different than to be treated like a slave; fuck it's been that long I don't know how to act around you… I don't know how to be a part of a family I've never fucking had!" I finish yelling taking a deep breath counting to ten opening my eyes I see everyone sat with their heads down and my mami has tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry" She says quietly wiping the tears from her face.

"I'm sorry for yelling I just- I just … I just need time to adjust to this I don't; this isn't normal for me but I'm trying" I breath out as she faintly nods.

"Look I'm just gonna go to Lucy's calm down and then we'll go for coffee later okay?" I say softly expressing my apology for yelling.

"Yeah I'll um I'll pick you up later" She says softly wrapping her arms around herself and I can tell I've hurt her… but she's hurt me more.

As I walk down the street I think about whether other people have been through this, how they coped and if they're okay now. I want to be happy and I'm getting there it's just hard.

I walk into Lucy's house to the smell of pancakes… she sure loves them it's so freaking cute.

"Oh hey baby I wasn't expecting you yet" She speaks softly coming up to me drawing me into a soft kiss as I trace her bottom lip with my tongue pulling her close into me I hold on to the kiss for what feels like forever because when I kiss her … time just stops. "We're just gonna watch a film if you wanna watch it with us"

"Yeah baby that sounds perfect" I admit pulling her in for one last kiss before going to join her in the living room seeing Rachel and Quinn snuggled up on the sofa just makes me think/hope that that could be me and Lucy in 10-20+ years with our children.

I get on the other sofa with Lucy and hold her into me under a blanket as I cuddle her I sigh in contentment.

"Lucy said you weren't coming till later" Quinn spoke softly like she was in contentment too snuggled up with her girl.

"Yeah I um… to be honest I kind of lost it a bit on my mami" I admit regretfully as Lucy places soft kisses under my ear.

"How come Hun?" Rachel asks as she pulls Quinn in tighter resting her arm over her stomach.

"Well she's just acting like nothing's happened and really nice and I guess I get it from her perspective; but I'm not used to it and I guess I'm just having a hard time adjusting to it, it's just too much for me I think." I sigh as Lucy whispers I love you into my ear, "but I apologised after I yelled and came here to just I don't know to be able to breathe… because well you're the only people I feel comfortable around." I state quietly at the end as Quinn comes and gives me a hug taking my hands in hers.

"Look, Bella … when I was your age I, um well I got pregnant. I gave Beth up for adoption and I took it hard and I guess everything was getting too much for me to. So I went and got some therapy look I'm not saying you're a nut job or anything but it helped me so it might help you." She offers with gentle eyes,

"Yeah I uh I guess I could try it" I reason thinking about it, it actually makes sense to talk to someone else who I don't know.

"And obviously if you ever want to talk you have us three here; you're part of our family too so whatever it takes to make you happy."

I offer a thank you as a few tears drop from my eyes. The movie starts and I feel Lucy cuddle further into me as she turns around and faces me.

"I'm so proud of you baby, I love you so so much" She says pulling me into a soft secure passionate kiss and to be honest I've never felt so at home before.

About an hour later the movie has finished and now were just idle chatting with Lucy sat on my lap as she shuffles about she grinds into me and it's driving me fucking crazy.

"So Bella how about you show off those awesome singing skills I hear you have" Rachel asks excitedly as I inwardly groan but with Lucy whispering in my ear she'll make it worth my while who am I to deny her.

"Okay I … I'll do one for Lucy as she is my shining star" I say grabbing Quinn's guitar from behind the piano.

_Every time our eyes meet  
This feeling inside me  
Is almost more than I can take  
Baby when you touch me  
I can feel how much you love me  
And it just blows me away  
Ive never been this close to anyone or anything  
I can hear your thoughts  
I can see your dreams  
_

_I don't know how you do what you do  
Im so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life  
With you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby Im amazed by you_

The smell of your skin  
The taste of your kiss  
The way you whisper in the dark  
Your hair all around me  
Baby you surround me  
You touch every place in my heart  
Oh it feels like the first time every time  
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes

I don't know how you do what you do  
Im so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life  
With you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby Im amazed by you

Every little thing that you do  
Im so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life  
With you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Oh, every little thing that you do  
Baby Im amazed by you.

"That was beautiful" I hear but it's not the voice I was expecting as I hear mami walk towards me.

**Hey so just a small chapter really; I'm trying to find time to write as much as I can so I hope this was okay and ill try update asap , please R+R and thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Bella p.o.v**

"Um hi" I say awkwardly knowing that she has never heard me sing before now.

"Are you ready to go?" She asks politely with a small smile on her face.

"Yeah sure" I say before putting my shoes on and giving Rachel and Quinn a hug as I go to leave,

"Wait!" Lucy yells jumping on my back peppering kisses across my neck before I pull her round so she's wrapped around my waist.

"You didn't think I wasn't gonna say bye now did you?" I ask laughing at her adorableness as she buries her face into the crook of my neck.

"You're leaving me" she speaks in a dramatic tone

"Baby it's just the way it's gotta be" I play along

"Yeah well … aint nobody got time for dat!" She yells really loudly giving me a kiss on the lips before whispering in my ear "and if she's mean I will go all lima heights on her sorry ass" she tries to speak gangster … oh hell naaa!

"baby one don't ever ever use gagster talk again it's weird and two I love you and I'll see you later" I whisper giving her a soft kiss as she yells love you before I walk out the door.

The ride to the coffee shop was excruciating to say the least and the silence ARKWARD!

I stare out the window and thank god when we reach there I open the door so quick I'm not even sure mami had turned off the engine.

As we enter I get the feeling of anxiety like I can't cope… I take a deep breath as we approach the counter and mami tells me to grab us a seat.

As she comes to sit down opposite me she offers me a smile "I got your usual"

"I'm surprised you even remember" I scoff because it's being so long before offering a small sorry knowing it's not helping things.

"It's okay I deserve it" She speaks ashamedly before we land in another awkward silence as we slowly sip our coffee.

"I'm sorry about this morning; I … I'm trying to deal with this but it's so fucking hard mami and I just, I don't know what to do" I sigh as a tear slips down my eye.

Mami grabs my hand and rubs it softly,

"I know this is mostly my fault and I wish … I wish I could have been a good parent to you especially when you needed me most" she sighs herself sipping her coffee still holding onto my hand.

"I felt trapped, I felt lost I felt like I wasn't worth anything and I was better off dead; but then when I think of all the people that die of cancer what right did I have to end my life when they couldn't even get to choose and when dad beat me it fucking hurt more than anything but In a way it made me feel better. Like I was making up for the fact that I was such a disappointment to you" I take a sip of my coffee to try and control my breathing.

"I never meant or want you to feel like a disappointment to me mija I'm so proud of you and how strong you are"

"I just don't feel strong anymore though I feel exhausted; I was so so close to breaking but then… then Lucy came and she saved me. She taught me being open is okay, she showed me that not everyone you love leaves you. She was the first person in a long time to make me believe I was worth something" I say as I smile just thinking about her.

"You really love her huh?" Mami says lovingly,

"Yeah I do… d'you believe in soulmates?" I ask curiously

"No" She says shortly and I'm a bit taken back "no is what I would have said if you asked me when I was with your dad… but then I think of Brittany and I know she is my soulmate" she replies honestly with the same loving look I had on my face not two minutes ago.

"Well I believe Lucy is my soulmate, meeting her was fate I think. For some reason she was brought into my life and I love her more than anything else in this world and I'f I could choose I would go through all this again just so I could be with her; I'd take all the insults and beatings in the world just to be with her she is my everything" I say my face lighting up as I talk about her confidently not wavering my voice once.

"Wow … I don't know what to say apart from if that didn't tell me how much you love her that song you sang sure did … It was beautiful" she speaks sincerely I still notice she clutches my hand as I see and feel how much she means it and it makes me smile.

"Yeah no one really knew I sang to be honest" I spoke quietly into my drink as I pull it up to my lips savouring the taste.

"Why?" she asks simply and I know she has been honest with me so I should do the same.

"Singing. Singing was the only way for me to let out my emotions, it saved me from cutting myself it was one or the other I knew that. I had to hold onto it and I knew if people knew about my singing you would all try take it away from me … and I couldn't have that taken away from me because I love it and if I didn't sing then I would have done something stupid" I say honestly adverting my eyes as I told her hesitantly … she squeezes my hand tightly as I look up to her.

"You don't have to hide anything anymore baby girl" She speaks sincerely before coming around the table and pulling me into a hug as she pulls back she says " I love you" and I feel my heart skip a beat,

As I say it back and look into her eyes I see warmth, honesty and love in them … making my heart swell I know I may have a long , extremely hard road ahead but knowing she loves me …

Well that makes me want to move on more than anything.

**Hey guys im still trying to update quick but I have a lot going on **** … please review it means a lot too me and thankyou for reading it means a lot any questions, advise , ideas review them or pm me and once again many thanks.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Bella's p.o.v**

So as the days pass things get easier, not a lot easier but it's a slow progress I get that. I'm not expecting things to go back to the way they were straight away and I think Mami understands that now; so I still clear the table but she helps me … it's the little things that are helping me more than anything but to be honest sometimes I feel like this could all just be an act, and sooner or later she's gonna go back to the way she was.

I've been lying awake for about an hour now with Lucy beside me I snuggle closer into her and place a gentle kiss on the end of her nose; she scrunches her nose up and it makes me kiss her in the same spot again … she's so fucking cute it's unbelievable!

"Mmm baby" She says in that sexy morning voice she always has as she starts to place gentle kisses on my neck.

I moan in delight as she starts to nibble on my pulse point "fuck baby" I moan as she starts biting harder before smoothing the spot over with her tongue.

"I hope you guys aren't having sex because we're leaving in 30!" Britt shouts laughing.

Lucy pulls away much to my disappointment but one smile from her and I sigh in contentment as she places a few lingering kisses on my lips before pulling on a tight fitting shirt and jeans which make her ass look H.O.T !

"You know babe, you don't need to wear clothes really I don't mind" I offer cheekily wearing a sly grin as she comes to sit on my lap.

"Oh so you wouldn't mind people looking at this naked body then" She points with a smirk on her face.

"No! No one's getting to see this; it's mine" I say demandingly, no one gets to check my girl out or I will go all Lima heights.

"All yours huh?" She whispers sexily into my ear sending a shiver down my spine.

"Mmm mine" I say pulling her into me nibbling her ear as she squeals before jumping off the bed,

"I'll see you downstairs babe" she laughs making her way out my door.

As I get changed I mentally prepare myself in the mirror … I take a deep breath before walking down the stairs.

"Are you ready mija" Mami asks softly,

"Si mami" I say nervously getting into the car; Lucy trailing softly behind me.

As we approach the big building I take Lucy's hand in mine I grip it tightly and she seems to understand my anxiety as she gives me a soft reassuring kiss as we make our way into the big elevator.

We enter a very professional but warm looking room, I follow the others and take a seat on the big leather sofa before a collected mid 30's woman comes in taking a seat directly opposite.

I can feel my heart pounding as I shift nervously on the sofa feeling as though the wall is closing in on me slowly.

"Are we all ready to start today's therapy?" The woman asks politely and everyone agrees; yes, I'm at a fucking therapy session which I got roped into by mami she seems to think it would help but I'm so nervous I can barely think. "So I've read over the notes, who would like to start us off; how about you Lucy give it us from your perspective."

I notice Lucy look my way before taking a deep breath then clearing her throat.

"Okay um… so I first saw Bella when I went over for dinner because her parents are friends. When the door opened and I saw her for the first time I remember getting butterflies, it's silly really. She looked so so immaculate I think is the word… so put together, and so confident. But- but then I saw her eyes and I knew straight away I guess. I knew it was a cover but her eyes were still so beautiful, but they were darker, sadder, scared most importantly lonely." She takes a minute to wipe her tears away and compose herself … all I want to do is hold her but I can't right now and it breaks my heart. "Then when we had dinner and I notice how they treated her, spoke about her, spoke to her. It made me furious to see them treating her like that, to see how they could be so hard and ruthless against her. Then when we were in the bathroom I went to help her get the glass out of her hand; she made a snide remark to herself about not being able to do anything right… and I – I looked in her eyes and all I could see was hurt and pain; I just wanted to make it go away and fix everything … fix her" She says as she starts to sob on the sofa , not being able to help it I reach over and pull her into my arms as she cries against me I whisper soft comforting words in her ear placing gentle kisses on her lips and she calms down slowly.

"I can tell this hurts you Lucy" The therapist speaks softly as she jots down in her notebook.

"It does… I know love at first sight seems ridiculous but I had it with Bella and I truly believe she's my soul mate. The thought of her unhappy and hurting kills me and I would do anything to see her smile, I feel her pain every time I look in her eyes and I lost it … I couldn't let them hurt her anymore because I love her… I love her more and more each day. When I think I can't love her anymore shell say something or do something and I just I fall deeper in love with her." She finishes looking softly at me, I don't even notice I'm crying until she wipes the tears from my face and takes my hand in hers.

"How do you feel about what she just said Bella?" The therapist asks as I shift nervously.

"I love her and I want to be better, if not for me then for her… she means everything to me" I say confidently. "I'll be honest when I first started falling for her I was scared, everything I loved seemed to leave and the connection I felt for her… I didn't know if I could handle it if she left so I tried to keep my walls up. But it's hard when she can tear them down in just one look, but now … now I'm not so afraid anymore. Of course I still am afraid but I guess that will just go away with time." I speak thoughtfully as the therapist jots down notes in her diary.

"Well I can honestly say, if you too continue to communicate and respect each other… hold onto each other because I can tell a love that strong is hard to come by these days."

**Thanks for reading I know I haven't updated in a while but to be honest I'm trying to sort myself out, that was part one of therapy I'm gonna do a part dedicated to Britt and another with Santana to give them their own part. Please review It means a lot and if you have any advice, ideas or questions review or pm me im always happy to add them in thanks again. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Bella p.o.v**

So were all still sat here and I just realised when I thought I couldn't love my girlfriend any more she fucking makes the impossible happen, she's everything and more and I will not let her go. Ever!

"So Brittany, Santana how do you feel about what Lucy just said?" The therapist asks moving her glasses back into place.

"I just, I feel ashamed that I didn't do something sooner" Brittany says sighing and placing her head in her hands, I see the resource in her eyes and I know she's being honest.

"Why didn't you?" The woman asks point blank to Brittany and I notice her head start to shake as she looks upwards trying to stop any tears from falling.

"I-I don't know… it's not like I have any excuses that can justify why I didn't protect her. When I said my vows to Santana I made a promise to not only be her wife but to be a step mother to Bella and It's fair to say I've done a crap job of it so far. I … I guess I was so caught up in everything, in work, in being San's wife I just I'd got this perfect picture of what I wanted our life our family to be. I think I just wanted to convince myself we had this perfect life/ this perfect family because that would mean for once in my life I had finally proved to people that I may not be as smart as them … but that I made it and that I could have the perfect life by being a successful dancer, being a great wife, a mum-"Brittany spoke with such sincerity that I could forgive her in an instant … no wonder mami can never say no to her.

"Yeah a mum to everyone but Bella" The therapist interjects sharply

"Yeah ... a mum to Bella, I think because San had always protected me, been there for me and supported me not just physically but emotionally it was hard for me to believe she wouldn't do that for her daughter. I mean … she's just always been so loyal; admittedly fierce but she would do anything for the people she loved and that was one of the things I love most about her. I think I just didn't want to accept that she would treat Bella that way because that wasn't who I fell in love with" Brittany says letting out a deep breath and I see my mami scrunch her eyebrows together like she always does when she is trying to stay strong and keep her walls up, I do the same thing.

"So I see Brittany, you yourself had issues with this because of how much you love your wife ... so what made you change your mind and actually say something?" She asks curiously making a few notes down in her book.

"Honestly … it was the night Lucy and her family came for dinner. A glass broke by accident and Santana yelled at Bella and told her she couldn't do anything right. That was when I was pulled out of this daydream of mine. Santana was always the one to tell me I was a genius and I was not stupid and that I was priceless, I was worth more than I could ever know. And um-I'm sorry" She pauses to wipe her silent tears which are falling before closing her eyes and taking a breath. "To see Santana say that to her daughter, it made me remember how people used to make me feel and I wouldn't wish that on anyone because it fucking hurts. Especially because Santana was always the one to protect me from it, it made it worse and I can honestly unfortunately say… that was the first time I've ever been disappointed or ashamed in her in all my life." She finishes and I see mami run out the room before anyone can stop her.

Instead of running after her Brittany comes over to me and takes my hands in hers. I look in her eyes and I see her regret, I see her love, and I see her promise.

"I may not be able to change the past Bella, but I sure as hell can promise you I'm gonna be a mum to you, and I PROMISE I will never ever ever let anyone in this family get away with treating you like that again because I love you Bella Lopez and I'm going to prove that to you every day and I don't ever want you to forget it, understand?" She speaks with such conviction that all I can do is nod in return as she pulls me into a bone crushing hug after what seems like minutes she pulls away before giving me a wink and offering to go and find Mami. As I take Lucy's hand I wait in the chair for mami to return … hopefully.

**Brittany's p.o.v**

I can't describe what I'm feeling, relief? Resource? It could be a bit of all sorts but I'm gonna show that kid she has a family and I'm not ever gonna let her forget from this day forward.

I look over the road into a small garden where I notice Santana sat on a pine bench staring into space.

"Why are you out here?" I ask softly as I join her on the bench, I notice her nervousness as she starts rubbing circles in the palm of her hands.

"I just had to get out of there" She replies timidly, I know what I've said hurt her but she had to hear it.

"Well we have to go back now it's your turn" I say confidently as she looks away before shaking her head to the ground.

"I don't know if I can, I don't think I'm strong enough to handle it" She whispers with a tear dropping from her saddened eyes and I decide on a bit of tough love.

"You listen now Santana and you listen well. It may have been hard for you to listen to what I had to say in there but it's therapy for _your_ daughter. She has had to be strong her whole life and she has gone through more than any girl her age should have gone through; now if you remotely love your daughter you will get your ass back in that room and be strong for her. Prove to me that you're still the same girl I fell in love with all those years ago" I speak harsher than intended and she gives me a firm nod before giving a thought and starts to walk with me back towards the therapy room.

"Britt?" She grabs my arm just before we go in, "were gonna be okay aren't we?" she asks shakily and I know there is no point in lying.

"I don't know Santana, I honestly don't. If you can prove to be the same woman I fell for then yes were gonna be great… but if not then, then I don't know" I say looking away as I notice the panic in her eyes.

"I'll be better I promise baby, just don't leave me baby, don't leave me ever" She pulls me in for a strong embrace and I hold her to let her know I'm not leaving.

"I love you Santana, you just have to show me your sill _my_ Santana" I say giving her a soft reassuring kiss and I know with her against me… that my loving wife is still there.

**Hey guys so sorry I haven't updated in a while I've been camping which means no internet! My spine literally hurt when I woke up but I'm back now **** I hope you enjoyed the chapter please R+R , to answer any questions Britt and Santana were there through Lucy's bit last chapter I just want to focus more on each character thanks again, and questions , advise , ideas pm me or write in a review. Till next time **


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